Horrible/Wonderful - why is life such a see-saw?

Yep, so I didn't blog Monday...you know why. It was that horrible I couldn't bring myself to admit what I'd done until I fixed it. Binged for 3 days straight, eating over my daily calorie limit, exercising and still not burning it all off. So I put on 0.9kgs in 3 days! Almost died. It worked though... :) ...Managed to lose it all plus more in the next two days, then followed up with a fast day. I've had to eat a fair bit today because I'm giving blood tomorrow so I hope it all evens out and I don't gain by Friday...I guess we'll see. So my stats are:

Week 14 Monday Weight: 67.6kgs
Week 14 Monday Loss: -0.9kgs

Total Weight Loss: 10.4kgs
BMI: 22.3

Week 14 Wednesday Weight: 65.9kgs
Week 14 Wednesday Loss: 1.7kgs

Total Weight Loss: 12.1kgs
BMI: 21.8

And YAY my BMI is under 22 finally:) I'll take any milestone and cherish it lol:)

A Long One :)

Part One - Why do we make deals with the devil?

Why do I insist on trying to make deals with myself all the time?!!! You can get off the treadmill now if you don't eat for the rest of the day. It's okay to eat this, you'll burn it off later. Don't worry about eating this, you can starve tomorrow. NO! It is not okay. I never bur enough so I shouldn't get off the treadmill, I won't burn it later so I shouldn't eat it, you'll fail again tomorrow so don't let yourself think it's okay to fail today. I am obsessed with making deals with myself, with CHEATING! It truly is as easy as just saying 'no'. Don't let yourself do it, and definitely don't let yourself convince yourself that it is okay.

Part Two - Perfectly Normal

I am perfectly normal. My BMI is 21.86, right smack bang in the centre of the healthy weight range. I am perfectly and disgustingly normal and I hate it. I have lost 11.8kgs, 26lbs, 15% of my body weight and not one person has noticed or commented. You know why? Because it still only makes me normal. I don't want to be normal. I want to be thin, skinny would be great but thin is what I am aiming for. 60kgs I believe would make me thin. 19.8BMI. 55kgs would be skinny. 18.1BMI. I want to be thin/skinny and enjoy life, not too sick to make the most of it.

So this weeks stats are:

Week 13 Friday Weight: 66.2kgs
Week 13 Friday Loss: 1kgs

Total Weight Loss: 11.8kgs
BMI: 21.9

So in conclusion; watch me drain every last drop of life out of this world, I will make the most of it, just as I will drain every last drop of fat from my ass:) It WILL happen. I might not be tomorrow but tomorrow will get me closer, and one day, hopefully not too far away, I will be something more (less) than perfectly normal:) willbethin xoxo

Wednesday may become my new favourite day :)

Was thrilled this morning with a 0.5kgs loss in 2 days. I'm still exercising everyday and even though I hate it (it's getting better I suppose) I'll keep at it as long as it keeps working:)

Week 13 Wednesday Weight: 67.2kgs
Week 13 Wednesday Loss: 0.5kgs

Total Weight Loss: 10.8kgs
BMI: 22.2

Please comment and help keep me motivated :) willbethin xoxo

10kgs Finally...! :)

Hey guys I hit the 10kg weight loss mark finally:):):)

I'm weighing in every Monday, Wednesday, Friday now to try and keep me on track better with extra motivation through the week. So my stats are:

Week 13 Monday Weight: 67.7kgs
Week 13 Monday Loss: 1.4kgs

Total Weight Loss: 10.3kgs
BMI: 22.4

Have been exercising on the treadmill and step machine too. That leaves me 9 weeks to lose the last 7.7kgs, (0.8-0.9kgs a week).

 

Until Wednesday, This is forever. I will do whatever it takes. I want to be thin more than anything, even food...xoxo

Urgh!...Last time this will happen:(

Yep, I gained. Again! Basically a whole week of binging, not one good day at all. For what they're worth, my stats:

Week 12 Weight: 69.1kgs
Week 12 Loss: -0.8kgs

Total Weight Loss: 8.9kgs
BMI: 22.8

Made myself throw up for the first time in years this week. Not sure how I feel about it. I had been considering it for a while but trying not to start because I've done it before and it got really bad where I'd do it after eating anything, multiple times a day. But I said I didn't want dinner and was made to eat it so I just got rid of it. It was easy and such a relief that I could do it. I don't want to go there though so will try to stick to just restricting.

The one upside of this week was that I finally got my act together and started exercising. I'll will keep this up and try to increase my losses again. Will weigh in Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays too from now on so that I can track my weight more carefully, I think it will help with my motivation.

On Monday my weight WILL be lower! Check back in then:)

"The reason people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go instead of how far they have gotten."