Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Mid Week Post

So I'm still 2 days off weighine myself but just thought I'd leave a note about today. I got home from a friend's house today and my little sister says "where have you been?" "Lauren's" i reply, "did you eat?" she asks. "yes, why?" I lie. "you look really skinny." she said.

Even though I know I'm still hugely fat, it was the best thing anyone has said to me in weeks. Still waiting for someone to ask me that big question :) "Have you lost weight?" but I will remember that conversation forever. No one who doesn't know I've been dieting has commented yet but it just drives me harder towards my goal. 2 days away with work this week where I ate 3 meals a day so I'm petrified about weighing in this week. And I drank alcohol!!! Didn't binge when I drank which I usually do but I didn't vomit either so I figure all of those calories are floating around in me somewhere:(

Also went to the movies this week with my sister and we were sharing a drink, I didn't eat but she had popcorn and I was paranoid about contracting the calories off the can. I get anxious all the time, feel on the border of panic attacks, but I can rationalise myself out of it. It's usually when I'm alone. I feel so alone all the time now! Used all my Internet in 2 days looking at thinspiration :|

So my refrained goals:
Goal Weight 1: 75kgs   -   DONE!
Goal Weight 2: 70kgs   -   Hopefully this week!!! :)
Goal Weight 3: 65kgs
Goal Weight 4: 60kgs   -   Must be this or lower when I go to Europe in August

Goal Weight 5: 55kgs
Ultimate Goal Weight: 52kgs, BMI 17.6

If I post on Friday, it's probably good. If not, it's horrible:(


I'd never tell anyone because then they'd think, why aren't you thin then?

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel.If I told anyone what or how I was thinking they'd think I'm doing it for attention.Even back when I lost alot of weight this way(wasn't that skinny though).Now I'm fat,from my year of not worrying. Anyways,good luck! Hope to see you post on Friday. :)
    -Mimi

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